Bye bye Tony

Another one bites the dust.

Tony Snow has announced that he’s leaving the White House staff in two weeks. His last day, September 14, is the same as Karl Rove’s last day, and three days before the official departure of Alberto Gonzales.

Although his unfortunate battle with cancer clearly has affected him, he’s said that the reason he’s leaving is because he’s not making enough money as White House press secretary. This, of course, converts him from a potentially tragic figure into just another Bush crime syndicate jerk.

Also, I discovered this news because of a tremendous leap in hits on this sucky blog due to people searching for information on Snow’s replacement, Dana Perino (right). I wrote about her when she first took over for Snow on an interim basis last March, and now my post is the 10th hit when you Google her name. Nice.

Well, Tony joins a long list of rats departing the sinking (sunken?) ship. I really do have sympathy for the guy for his illness, but to deny his illness and say that he’s leaving for financial reasons? I think that’s just ridiculous. If it’s true, it’s just sad, and if it’s not true, then he’s a bigger jerk for not being man enough to admit the extent of his illness.

See ya, Tony. Hopefully not having to lie and obfuscate on your boss’ behalf in the future will give you better health …

Buccaneer Monday (special Friday edition)

My absence of the last 24 hours can be explained in one word: football.

Thanks to the screwy schedule of preseason NFL football, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers played their last preseason game on a Thursday night, which for me meant a 7-hour round-trip drive sandwiched around a game … and I started home from the stadium at about midnight. I’m getting too old for this …

But the game itself was entertaining, even if it was meaningless in the grand scheme of things. The Bucs’ scrubs spotted the Houston Texans’ scrubs 14 points, but the Bucs roared back to win, 31-24, behind two big touchdown catches by WR Paris Warren, who finished off a tremendous preseason for Tampa Bay.

Sadly, though, Warren’s last TD catch also likely is his last catch of 2007, as his leg rolled up beneath him on the tackle and he suffered a compound fracture of his ankle. This happened almost literally right in front of me, as I sit in the south end zone, and I saw something I’ve never seen in over ten years of attending games in Tampa (and a lifetime of watching football): the entire team came out to support Warren as he was treated, loaded onto the stretcher, and carted off. Honestly, the only word I can think of to describe the scene (shown here, in a picture I took from my seat) is touching.

The real thing for the Bucs starts September 9, with a challenging road trip to Seattle to face the Seahawks. After a preseason record of 3-1, there is optimism in Tampa Bay, but it’s tempered by the reality of a schedule that begins with Seattle and (at home) New Orleans, with trips to Indianapolis, New Orleans, and San Francisco (where they’ve traditionally played poorly) looming later in the year.

I’ll be happy with an 8-8 year … the playoffs are not out of the question but, coming off of a 4-12 season in 2006, reality is a bitch. Five years ago, this team won a Super Bowl. It seems more like fifty years ago …

Another Larry Craig endorsement

You know, I think Sen. Craig is actually going to come out ahead after this whole mess blows over. Seriously, his hardship could turn out to be a tremendous asset. And his latest coup is a natural fit.

I shared one endorsement deal with you yesterday, and now he’s got another one:

click for larger version … you’ll miss the really good snark if you don’t

Yes, it’s Requip™ — the Restless Leg Syndrome medication with the, um, interesting side effects. Don’t miss the “Important Safety Information” …

The Three Stooges, GOP style

(L-R) Sen. Trent Lott (R-Miss.), Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), former Attorney General John Ashcroft (R-Mo.)

Now, that’s what I call an “O” face …

(h/t Free Williamsburg)

Florida GOP Police Blotter: The Orlando murder-suicide plot thickens

So this morning I (finally) read this article in the Orlando Sentinel about the recent suspicious murder-suicide in Orlando that included the death of Republican consultant Ralph Gonzalez. Certain passages in the article, which was published last Saturday, tended to stick out:

The bodies of Ralph Gonzalez, 36; David Abrami, 36; and Robert Jason [actually Jason Robert -- ed.] Drake, 30, were discovered Thursday, about two days after the men are believed to have died. Authorities determined they perished in a double-murder and suicide but would not say which man was the killer.

Gonzalez and Abrami were longtime friends and conservative Republican allies who lived at the house on Hickory Oak Boulevard. Drake was a St. Cloud High School graduate and former Marine who was once featured in newspapers across the country during his service in Kosovo.

[...]

Gonzalez and Abrami, both 36, shared a longtime passion for conservative Republican politics.

Gonzalez, a former head of the Republican Party in Georgia, ran the Strategum Group in Orlando. His clients included U.S. Rep. Tom Feeney.

Abrami, an attorney, drew Secret Service scrutiny in 1992 while still a student at the University of Central Florida.

As vice president of the Central Florida Young Republican Club, the 22-year-old senior announced a Turkey Shoot fundraiser where members could pay $2 to fire a shotgun at enlarged photos of then-President Clinton.

“This will be fun for the entire family,” Abrami told the Orlando Sentinel before the Secret Service persuaded him to raise money some other way. “They came down hard on us, saying we threatened the president, things like that.”

Naturally, speculation has ensued about the relationship between Gonzalez and Abrami, and what role Drake may have played. Tuesday, Wonkette offered this insight:

The mind-bendingly weird suburban Florida deaths of two GOP consultants and an ex-marine continue getting weirder. The Orange County sheriff announced yesterday that Jason Drake — the ex-marine — killed the consultants before offing himself, though they gave no explanation for his actions and Drake left no helpful note.

Ralph Gonzalez — whose story we last looked at here and here — was apparently gay, and early reports made tantalizing mention of a “love triangle,” but now it’s all just a big puzzle.

David Abrami, former political consultant, was Gonzalez’s housemate — and maybe not gay? He had a girlfriend in one story, anyway.

Drake “installed tile and wood flooring.” And they all hung out “socially and professionally to some degree” according to the Sheriff’s office.

So, my suspicions from the article may be correct …

Meanwhile, there’s a crapload of speculation at Crimeblog, where they add the spectre of gay porn to the whole mix. They also have a link to Drake’s ex-wife’s blog (she corrected her ex-husband’s name, btw), who says:

While reading the articles, I also found quite a few that were speculating that it was a “love triangle” or a “lover’s quarrel” going on. More shock. So there is a chance that my ex-husband might be gay? OK, that is nothing I’d really freak out about, but it’s shocking to say the least.

I don’t know whether that means she’d be cool with him having been gay, or that she had suspicions. Either way, it’s brave of her to post about it on her blog.

This is one of those tales that only grows more lurid as time passes. When it first happened, I thought, well, it’s a shame that a GOP operative was killed, but nothing to see here. However, there may be much more than meets the eye. And pretty soon, Bill Kurtis will show up for American Justice on A&E …

Today’s Daily Schadenfreude: George W. Bush

Drunky McStagger could get the Daily Schadenfreude award almost every day, but this one’s special. Republicans are outraged — outraged, I tell you — that an artist made a picture of the the Preznit as a collage of pornography.

British artist Jonathan Yeo had every reason to be offended. The Bush Library in Texas had yet again rescinded a commission it had given him to paint a portrait of United States President George W. Bush. In the end, though, the artist decided to go ahead with his artistic portrayal of the 43rd president, even if he wasn’t getting paid for it — and created a portrait of Bush using a collage of pornographic images.

The tribute has not gone over well with Bush’s supporters. A spokesman for Republicans Abroad International described the portrait as a “cheap stunt” in an interview with the British tabloid The Sun. Meanwhile, a spokesman for the Republican Party in Bush’s home state of Texas didn’t find much humor in the portrait either. “This picture is very distasteful,” he told the paper, adding angrily, “Why would anyone want to make a picture of our president from pornographic material?”

I love that last question. I can think of a dozen reasons off the top of my head, and I’m sure there are hundreds more …

Yeo definitely got the last laugh, in a big way. Here’s a link to the portrait on Yeo’s website — the detail views there really give you a, um, taste of the portrait (but they’re seriously NSFW!).

So, Republicans weren’t outraged by David Vitter wearing diapers with hookers, but use pee-pees and va-jay-jays in a portrait of Drunky and it’s an international incident. I don’t get it. I mean, the portrait actually shows several examples of Drunky’s true character: a puckered asshole.

Congratulations, Drunky McStagger … once again, today’s Blast Off! Daily (Pornographic) Schadenfreude is for you!

Things are going to start happening to me now

The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!

Okay, not phone books, but close.

My blog business cards arrived yesterday. I think they’re purrrrrrty.

The Florida primary dispute: it’s the GOP’s turn

Finally, we’re seeing the other side of the coin:

Florida and four other states – New Hampshire, Wyoming, Michigan and South Carolina – could see at least half their delegates blocked from the Republican National Convention next year in St. Paul, Minn., because they moved up their primary dates in violation of party rules, which require that they be no earlier than Feb. 5.

[...]

Wyoming announced Monday that it had moved its primary date to Jan. 5, making it – at least temporarily – the first in the nation.

“The rules that were adopted at the convention in 2004 are clear and will be applied equally to every state,” said Amber Wilkerson, a Republican National Committee spokeswoman.

Under committee rules, the state parties must file a report by Sept. 4 detailing when and how convention delegates will be selected. The committee will publish a “Call to the Convention” before the end of the year detailing how many delegates each state will receive.

States that inform the party before the “Call to the Convention” that they plan to hold their primaries before Feb. 5 or after July 28 would lose half their GOP delegates; states that make the indication later would lose 90 percent of their delegates.

The GOP-dominated Florida Legislature pushed through the January 29 primary date and presumably was gleeful when the Democratic Party threatened to punish Florida for moving ahead of the February 5 threshold. Well, I guess the foot’s on the other hand now, isn’t it, Kramer?

U.S. Sen. Mel Martinez, also the Republican Party’s general chairman, said last week that he supports efforts by Jim Greer, chairman of the Republican Party of Florida, to work with the national party. But he is helpless to give Florida an exemption.

“I have been persuaded by the lawyers at the RNC that the rules are very inflexible,” Martinez said. “I’ve made that very clear to the governor and to (Florida House) Speaker (Marco) Rubio and to Jim Greer, and they know that I personally can’t do anything.”

Greer said he is confident Florida will retain its full complement of delegates.

“I understand the RNC continuing to publicize their rules, but I am confident that our position that we are not in technical violation of the rule because we do not select our delegates on Jan. 29 will prevail,” Greer said.

[...]

Florida Senate Majority Leader Daniel Webster dismissed the RNC’s threats and said he does not expect the legislature to change the primary date when it meets next month for a special session.

“I think it’s all talk. We’re an important state,” said Webster, R-Winter Garden. “I think we’re going to be a player regardless.”

The legislature decided to push the primary forward to increase the state’s influence, Webster said. “I don’t think we’re changing.”

Florida’s 27 electoral votes, the most of any swing state, make it impossible for candidates to disregard, Webster said. “It’s too big. At some point in time, they’re going to need Florida. I don’t see how they’re going to ignore us now and try to come back later and redo it.”

It’s a massive game of Political Chicken, and now it’s affecting both parties. Someone’s going to have to swerve, or there’s going to be some serious carnage …

Two years ago today

image by Suspect Device

Two years later, and New Orleans is still a shell of its former glory.
Two years later, and the Bush crime syndicate remains blissfully unaware of its gross, catastrophic negligence in failing to respond to the tragedy.
Two years later, and our government still is sending soldiers to die and billions of dollars down the drain in Iraq while Americans – our countrymen and women — have yet to pick up the pieces of their lives.

This post, with its flag of distress, will remain at the top of Blast Off! throughout this day, as a remembrance of the lives lost and shattered by the storm, the once-vibrant city that is struggling to survive, and the wretched, callous indifference of the Bush crime syndicate.

Please scroll down for new posts. Thank you.

Those krazy kids at the White House …

Isn’t it nice that the folks at the White House can still have fun?

Karl Rove, your car is ready.

White House pranksters wrapped Rove’s Jaguar in plastic wrap on the private driveway next to the West Wing. Rove’s car is easily recognizable because of its “I love Barack Obama” bumper sticker and the twin stuffed-animal eagles on the trunk. Oh, and there’s a stuffed-animal elephant on the hood.

Rove, the top White House political strategist who recently announced his resignation, left his car on the driveway while visiting Texas and traveling with President Bush. He was due back in Washington Wednesday evening.

Second anniversary of Katrina, war in Iraq and pending (?) in Iran, corruption permeating the Bush crime syndicate, and this is funny? More than that: this is news?

Yeah, it’s hilarious. This is me laughing: FUCK YOU, WHITE HOUSE STAFF. And FUCK YOU Associated Press for covering it.

Assholes.