Sure, the Bush crime syndicate is ruining America … but IKEA will save us!

This is what passes for news these days, I guess.

I mean, I knew IKEA was opening its first Florida store here in Teh Glans™ this month, but I didn’t realize it was going to be a quasi-religious experience for some.

The excitement for IKEA’s opening day has been building for months among veteran IKEA shoppers like Gloria DiSalvo. She plans to spend hours wandering the store and enjoying the famous Swedish meatballs in the restaurant. She has suffered from IKEA withdrawal since retiring to Pembroke Pines 10 years ago from New York City, where she used to take the free bus every week or two to the IKEA in New Jersey.

“I’m just dying to go and see what new kitchen gadgets they have,” said DiSalvo, 77, who plans to visit opening weekend with her son, his wife and her boyfriend. “I just love the place. We’re going to make a big day out of this.”

[...]

“I’ve always loved their unique items and their prices,” said [Denise] Agudelo, 29, who lives in South Miami-Dade. “Everything is so pretty, so cool and so inexpensive. It’s great for a starter home.”

Agudelo requested every Wednesday off this month from her job as a nurse at Mercy Hospital so she could be sure of attending IKEA’s opening day. She also held off on furnishing the living room in the new apartment she and her husband moved into in July. Her IKEA shopping list includes a sofa, coffee table, lamps, vase, chairs, kitchen utensils and more.

“I just can’t wait to go crazy,” Agudelo said.

My dear Ms. Agudelo, I believe you already have. Hey, did you know there’s an illegal war going on? And there’s corruption in Washington? And what about the subjugation of the media by the right wing? Did you hear the American economy is going straight to OH LOOK INEXPENSIVE MODULAR FURNITURE!!!

Then again, I do need some bookshelves …

UPDATE (5:03 pm 10/12/07): Jeebus, it’s worse than I thought. From a page titled “If you go to IKEA” is this little nugget:

Customers can begin camping out at 9 a.m., Monday, Oct. 15.

Grand opening ceremonies begin at 8:30 a.m. Wednesday, Oct. 17.

Entertainment begins at 6 a.m. Wednesday

Opening day hours:

9 a.m.-9 p.m.

Unless it’s for concert tickets or a championship game, I ain’t camping out for anything, let alone for 48 hours prior to opening. Come to think of it, I won’t even camp out for tickets.

Sheesh.

Drunky McStagger visits The Glans™

See what happens when I’m away for a little while?

I didn’t even realize that Drunky McStagger hisself was coming to America’s Glans™ for a little chat today “before a friendly, invitation-only audience.” Honestly, does the guy speak — and I use the term “speak” loosely — before any other kind of audience anymore?

The president has encountered congressional resistance to his free trade agenda but said, “Congress should pass these agreements soon.”

Speaking before a friendly, by-invitation-only audience, Bush said, “I think the case for trade is unmistakable for Miami. We need to make that point all over the country.”

Bush pointed out the benefits of free trade: more exports and a helping hand for Latin America, which wants to have trade agreements with the United States.

Free trade will give our hemispheric neighbors more access to products “made in the U.S.A,” the president said.

All told, the president was in Miami for just over two hours. He arrived at Miami International Airport shortly before 1 p.m. and was greeted by Republican stalwarts on the tarmac before traveling to the Biscayne Boulevard hotel for the 2 p.m. speech.

Roads were closed near the hotel and the airport during the president’s arrival and departure times, snarling traffic in both areas.

As soon as he finished the address, Bush and his entourage immediately returned to MIA, and Air Force One was in the air again, en route to Texas, just after 3 p.m.

Geez, thanks for stopping by on the way to Crawford, Drunky. Hardly even time for a mojito on South Beach, eh? Of course, maybe you had your hooch delivered to Air Force One, and I wouldn’t blame you one bit. But at least you were here long enough to “snarl” traffic, which I’m sure pleased Dick “Dick” Cheney no end.

Does anyone believe that “hemispheric” was a word that Drunky used? Yeah, me either …

Gov. Crist: the early years

Found this choice pic over at Bob Norman’s blog, The Daily Pulp. That’s Our Guv in the middle (in case you were wondering …).

I’m sure there’s a Greek joke in there somewhere …

For those of you outside Florida, here’s Gov. Crist today (right).

Psst, Charlie … fix your tie, d00d.

Florida Republicans love gambling … donations, that is

Next time you hear a Republican in America’s Wang™ railing against the eeeeeeevils of gaming, consider that while they point sternly at gambling interests with one hand, they quite likely are accepting donations from them with the other.

This summer, Florida Republicans took in thirty times more in donations from the gaming industry than did Democrats, and the gambling money accounted for nearly 20% of all donations to Republicans from July through September.

House Speaker Marco Rubio, R-West Miami, has been the fiercest critic of allowing gambling expansion. But while Republicans in Rubio’s camp frequently rail against the industry, they’ve also been quick to take its money.

The top three party contributors in the July-September quarter were the Palm Beach Kennel Club in West Palm Beach at $165,000, Jacksonville greyhound track at $137,000 and Mardi Gras Gaming at the Hollywood Greyhound Track at $120,000, according to reports filed with the state’s Division of Elections.

“It just shows you the power of the party in power,” said Senate Democratic Leader Steve Geller of Cooper City, whose political committee received $10,000 from the Palm Beach Kennel Club.

Overall, gaming interests gave little to Democrats — just $32,000 to the state party, even though it is considered friendlier to the industry.

“They contribute much more to them than to us, while the Republicans keep to this sanctimonious criticism of how horrible they are and then take their money,” Geller said.

And while the Republicans try to rationalize away their take from gambling, they may end up facing a lot of criticism from within:

House Majority Leader Adam Hasner, R-Delray Beach, said the House’s general resistance to expanding tribal gambling wasn’t a factor in the industry’s contributions.

“Our position is based on what we think is right for the state of Florida,” he said. “And there’s way too much talk about how campaign contributions influence the outcome of legislation.”

John Stemberger, a former Republican political director now leading an effort to place a gay marriage ban on next year’s ballot, said Republicans risk eroding their moral appeal to conservatives by appearing too cozy with the gaming industry.

“I think it’s a very risky thing to take money from a vice industry,” Stemberger said. “It’s very hard for elected officials to take their money and not be influenced by it.”

Dear Pot: You are black. Love, Kettle.

Also, dear Rep. Hasner: the only reason you think there’s too much talk about the influence of campaign contributions is that you wish we’d shut up.

Note that Hasner didn’t deny that campaign contributions influence legislation … he only complained that there’s too much talk about it. Veddy interestink …

What does Gore’s Nobel mean?

So, I suppose it’s old news by now (“old” meaning about three hours) that Al Gore has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. I can’t say I’m surprised, but the question is what effect it will have on, well, anything.

The New York Times weighed in this morning with an interesting look at how the blogosphere already is buzzing about it … although, predictably, the lean is to the right, with only the venerable Daily Kos representing the Good Guys:

Brace yourself for a hurricane of heated rhetoric. The Lede confidently forecasts that everybody and his cousin Ermintrude will be weighing in today on Al Gore and his Nobel Peace Prize, shared with the United Nations’s International Panel on Climate Change. Talk radio and television, print punditry, and especially the blogosphere will be in Category Five mode over a development that lands right in the sweet spot linking the two hyperpolarized worlds of partisan politics and climate science.

An equally easy prediction: The great majority of the commentary will follow the familiar ruts, touch the same touchstones, roast the usual chestnuts and jerk the same knees. It’s already well underway. Within an hour of the announcement you could already find exactly the right-wing jeering and left-wing cheering you’d expect.

Early samples include this from Kathy Shaidle’s Five Feet of Fury blog:

If Al Gore is a decent man, thirty years from now, having finally admitted he was wrong about global warming, he will endow a new prize, to be presented annually to a man or woman who tried to undo the incalculable damage done by An Inconvenient Truth.

Meanwhile, commenters on the left are impatient for Mr. Gore to take his prize and run with it, including this rapid post on the lefty warhorse Daily Kos, which had already accumulated 230-plus comments by 7:30 a.m. Eastern time:

No more excuses!!!!!!!!! Al Gore should finally jump into the 2008 presidential race. Next big victory for Gore — in November of 2008.

Pajamas Media rounds up much of the early reaction, pro and con, along with a bit of art imposing Mr. Gore’s head on a Superman poster.

Well, you know, if Kathy Shaidle were a decent woman, ten years from now, she’d realize that the global warming deniers are as credible as the Holocaust deniers. Hell, she ought to realize that now. But I digress …

I do agree with the article in that the global warming dispute will be reenergized. But does this propel Gore into the presidential race? Should it? Is Gore still fat? What do you think?