This is the very definition of schadenfreude (taking pleasure in the misfortune of others, for the uninitiated): the headline in today’s Los Angeles Times reads:
Aw, poor babies … but you can’t deny that the Repukes are dropping like flies. No fewer than seventeen GOP members of Congress have announced their retirements at the end of their current terms, and of those, only one is stepping down to run for higher office (from the House to run for the Senate).
The reasons they give range from the old “spending more time with their families” excuse to more, um, honest ones:
“I don’t like being in the minority,” said Rep. Ray LaHood (R-Ill.), who was first elected in the 1994 GOP landslide and will retire after this term. “It’s not that much fun, and the prospects for the future don’t look that good.”
Here, have a tissue, Ray. It’s “not … fun” to be in the minority, you say? Wow, what a shitty reason to retire from Congress. I’m sure your constituents are heartened by your perseverance.
The wave of retirements compounds the challenge facing the GOP in the 2008 congressional election, because the party is significantly trailing Democrats in fundraising. That means Republicans will apparently be defending more House and Senate seats with less money, and they will be fighting battles in places that otherwise might have been secure.
What is more, many of the Republicans choosing to retire are older, more pragmatic lawmakers, such as Rep. Ralph Regula of Ohio; moderates like Rep. Deborah Pryce of Ohio and Sen. John W. Warner of Virginia; and mavericks like Sen. Chuck Hagel of Nebraska. These departures reflect the generational and ideological changes that have pushed the Republican contingent in Congress steadily to the right over the last decade.
Eddie Mahe, a former GOP official, says it is no surprise that many Republicans are thinking about quitting politics at a time when President Bush’s popularity is low, Iraq is in turmoil and the U.S. economy may be going soft.
“If I was talking to my favorite brother-in-law and he was thinking about running for Congress, I would say, ‘Why would you want to do that now?’ ” Mahe said. “If anybody’s not smart enough to figure that out, I don’t want them around anyway.”
Shorter Times: the Democrats want to thank you in advance, Republicans, for 2008.
It’s not just the retirements that have the GOP gripping:
Republicans will probably be fighting on that turf with less money: As of the end of August, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee had $22.1 million on hand, compared with $1.6 million held by the GOP House committee.
There is a similar imbalance in fundraising for Senate races: As of the end of August, the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee had $20.6 million in the bank; its Republican counterpart had $7.1 million.
That financial disadvantage is especially problematic for Republicans because next year the party must defend 22 of its 49 Senate seats, compared with 12 Senate seats to be defended by Democrats.
For the GOP, the climb to recapture the Senate majority it lost in 2006 has gotten steadily steeper, as one veteran senator after another announced retirement. Warner cited his advancing age. Hagel and Sen. Wayne Allard of Colorado each said he was abiding by his promise to serve only two terms. Sen. Pete V. Domenici of New Mexico is leaving due to illness.
Those announcements were a big blow to the GOP, because Democrats would have had little hope of being competitive in Virginia, Nebraska and New Mexico against those popular incumbents. They have a good shot at those states now — especially in Virginia, where Republicans are divided over whom to nominate for the seat and the leading Democratic candidate, Mark R. Warner, is a popular former governor.
Indeed, a report this morning revealed that Mark Warner, who is running for the Senate seat being vacated by Sen. John Warner (R), raised over $1 million for his campaign in just a couple of weeks, while one potential opponent countered with just $78,000.
So, this morning I take great pleasure in celebrating the misfortune of Republicans. You hitched your wagon to a bum mule, GOP — several, actually, led by your erstwhile hero Drunky McStagger. The rest of the world knew years ago that he was a drooling, incompetent fucking idiot, but you stuck with him. And now you get to reap the benefits. Couldn’t happen to a nicer more corrupt and repulsive group of people.
At least you can take solace in one good thing, though: today’s Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!
