Someone give Gov. Crist a fiddle …

… because he might as well fiddle while Florida — at least its economy — burns down around him.

Just take a look at section B of the Palm Beach Post today. The front page of the section alone has three articles about the drastic measures Palm Beach County and its municipalities are having to take in order to contend with the cuts in revenue caused by the heinous Crist/Rubio tax cuts.

At the top:

Cuts prompt exodus at state attorney’s office
– Longtime homicide prosecutor is latest to resign

With the office’s budget cut 6 percent this year and projected to be slashed another 10 percent for the year beginning July 1, career prosecutors are jumping ship, too. The latest: Homicide prosecutor Patrick McKamey. His last day on the job is Friday. McKamey is joining the criminal defense law firm of Perlet & Shiner, where he will make more than the $80,000 he’s paid as a prosecutor.

Husband and wife Heidi Perlet and Marc Shiner also are former Palm Beach County prosecutors, as is another attorney in their firm, Darren Shull.

McKamey, 40, has been a prosecutor for nearly 12 years. With no pay raises or cost-of-living increases for two years, McKamey said he has taken a pay cut when inflation is factored in.

“When you get to that crossroads financially, you start losing ground,” McKamey said. “I made the financial sacrifice as long as I could to do something I love. It was a hard decision. I struggled with it for months.”

McKamey is married with a 2-year-old son, and he said that was a factor. “If I were still single, I could have weathered the storm.”

Earlier this month, Michelle Marken quit the office after about seven years. She too blamed the lack of pay or cost-of-living raises now and in the foreseeable future. Marken was making $67,729 and prosecuted difficult crimes against children cases, in addition to arson cases. She has gone to work as a prosecutor in Virginia.

“This is the second year we’re going to be stagnant,” said Al Johnson, a 15-year veteran of the office. “Basically, there is no future in the state of Florida in the state attorney’s office – that’s what the legislature is saying.”

[...]

“You cannot put a three-year prosecutor in crimes against children,” Johnson said. “Patrick’s caseload doubled in the last three weeks.”

It could get worse before it gets better. In order to make payroll if next year’s budget is trimmed 10 percent, [State Attorney Barry] Krischer says he will have to lay off some attorneys. This on top of other experienced prosecutors he lost in recent months. Among them: Stacey Ibarra, who went to the statewide prosecutor’s office, and Jennifer Millien, who joined the U.S. Attorney’s Office.

[...]

[T]here were 5,131 active felony cases as of April 14, including 2,141 that were 6 months old or older, Johnson said. “The less time you can devote to each individual case, you’re going to see more cases fall through the cracks. We cannot concentrate on every case.

“The public is suffering now. They just don’t know it yet.”

These are real consequences, folks: the real effect of the few hundred dollars that Crist and House Speaker Marco Rubio have put back in a few Floridians’ pockets (mostly wealthy homeowners who don’t really need the extra cash).

Want more evidence?

$36 million in school cuts seen; officials say it could be worse

Palm Beach County schools will need to cut $36 million from its budget next year after legislators approved the 2008-09 education spending plan they plan to finalize on Friday.

The cuts amount to a 2.7 percent budget reduction, slightly better than the state average.

Florida would spend about $130 less on each of its 2.6 million public school students next year [according to] the state budget. In Palm Beach County, the per-pupil cut would be $117.

[...]

District officials point to school districts such as in Broward and Miami-Dade counties that drew up multiyear contracts promising rising salaries to teachers.

Now those districts may have to go back on their promise or lay off teachers to make ends meet. Miami-Dade Superintendent Rudy Crew already recommended the school board suspend raises negotiated two years ago.

It’s the same thing that happened in the early 1990s, when Palm Beach County schools had to renegotiate its contract with teachers after it couldn’t afford promised raises.

Okay, so let’s see what the damage is so far: we’re sloughing off law enforcement personnel left and right, our public schools are suffering cuts they can’t afford, and attorneys and teachers alike are losing or are at risk of losing their jobs. Nice work, Charlie!

But wait — there’s more!

Delray residents pitch in on budget

Facing a difficult budget process in the coming months, the city should consider freezing employee salaries, combining the police and fire departments and dissolving the community redevelopment agency.

The recommendations were among the dozens of cost-cutting ideas residents offered at a small forum Tuesday night at the Delray Beach Golf Club.

[...]

Delray Beach, like most Florida cities, is bracing for a bloody budget process this fall because of a decrease in tax revenue from the voter-approved property tax amendment combined with a failing economy and stagnant housing market.

The city must approve a budget by the start of the new fiscal year, Oct. 1.

Kucera urged commissioners to spend wisely and find small ways to increase revenue, such as increasing parking fees. Other residents proposed increasing the fines for driving and code violations, charging user fees for parks and using the tennis complex for more events.

We shouldn’t have to do this, Charlie, not in an already sluggish economy. And we likely wouldn’t — at least not to such a great extent — but for the hard-on you and Marco have for burnishing your Good Republican Credentials (an oxymoron if there ever was one) by pushing through tax cuts the state neither needs nor can afford.

Let me put it more simply, Charlie: you are slowly strangling Florida. Is that what you want your legacy to be? You can be the governor who forced Florida into bankruptcy! Congratulations, Gov. Crist!

I can see it now: Tallahassee, 2011. “Sorry we don’t have a gold watch to present to you as you head off into the sunset, Charlie, but here’s a hearty pat on the back for burying the state in mountains of debt. You did more to destroy the state in four years than Jeb! could do in eight. Way to go!”

The picture’s not much better in the rest of the country, thanks once again to Republican asshats making the decisions in Washington. Why, just look at the Post’s Business section, starting on pages 10B and 11B of today’s paper. The headlines alone are sick-inducing:

Flouring Dilemma: Global demand finally affects U.S.

Consumers continue to see grim prospects
(featuring a graphic headed “Confidence free-fall”)

State incentive fund to lure big biotech dries up

Nursing home costs up, especially in Florida

Sounds just peachy, doesn’t it? I know, I know … no one could have predicted that we’d be paying nearly $4 a gallon for gas and having stores ration flour and rice and … well, that’s a bunch of bullshit, and Charlie, you know that as well as anyone. What the fuck were you thinking, pushing tax cuts in the midst of a recession that threatens to become a full-fledged depression?

We’re going to remember this, Charlie. And I for one won’t let you forget.

(cross-posted at Florida Progressive Coalition Blog)

It’s official: two down, one to go

Yesterday I told you how three fundie-led efforts in the Florida legislature were, thank the FSM, in trouble. Today two of them officially were put to rest.

The ridiculous forced-ultrasound bill was killed in the Senate, although the margin was the thinnest possible: a 20-20 vote.

State law already requires an ultrasound before a woman can have an abortion in the second or third trimester. The bill would have extended that to the first trimester. It also would have added the requirement that the doctor give the woman the opportunity to look at the sonogram, although she could have declined.

Well, that ought to shut those fucking fundies up for a while, at least. And if that doesn’t, maybe this will:

A license plate that would have become the first in the nation to prominently feature a religious symbol is unlikely to be on the road any time soon after state lawmakers did not include it in a bill Tuesday.

The plate, which included an image of a Christian cross, stained-glass window and the words “I Believe,” is not in legislation passed late Tuesday that’s now headed to the governor.

[...]

It could still be amended onto another bill, but the prospects of that were increasingly unlikely with few bills available on the Legislature’s calendar to which it could be added.

The South Carolina legislature is also considering the same license plate, however, and it won key approval in the state Senate there Tuesday.

Well, let South Carolina bear the ignominy of the Christianist license plate. We already knew their legislature was pretty much backwards, anyway, when they tried for the forced ultrasound bill last year.

Odd that Florida seems to be facing a fundie assault a year after South Carolina did the same thing, don’t you think? I mean, no offense to sensible South Carolinians, but do we really want to be taking our lead from South Carolina? Just wonderin’ …

Florida GOP Police Blotter update: scratch #8 off the list

We here at Blast Off! World Headquarters always want to be the first to admit when we’ve been wrong. Unlike, say, the mainstream corporate media … but you knew that already.

Anyway, about six months (or, if you prefer, one Friedman Unit) ago, we learned about Jeff Krull, mayor of the tiny central Florida town of Mascotte, who had been charged with sexually molesting children. Well, earlier this month Krull was cleared of the charges.

[T]he State Attorney’s Office filed papers in Lake County Circuit Court declining to pursue the case because of inconsistencies in accusations made by alleged victims and witnesses. Krull said he was always confident of his innocence and that he hopes to get his life back to normal — specifically, he wants to run for mayor again next year.

“I never did any of it in the first place,” said Krull, an Illinois native who served on the council for four years, including two as mayor. “This is tremendous.”

Prosecutors said information collected after Krull’s arrest did not match up. But they had to explore the claims.

“They [police] did their job, and so did we,” said Bill Gladson, supervising assistant state attorney in Lake County.

Okay, well, you know, we hear about a Republican and sexual molestation, I mean, it seems natural. Or, put another way, it would have been irresponsible not to speculate …

Alice Cooper … ambassador or cabinet member?

Just happened upon an old Blast Off! post from 2005 this morning, and I think it has added meaning now, given the fact that the GOP appears certain to nominate dessicated, goiter-ridden near-corpse Huggy Bear for the presidency.

Huggy is pals with, of all people, Alice Cooper (right).

In the eyes of Alice Cooper, all the rock stars campaigning for Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry are guilty of one thing: treason. The shock-rock legend, a staunch Republican who attends NBA games in Phoenix with Arizona Senator John McCain, was disgusted when he learned of plans by Bruce Springsteen, John Mellencamp, R.E.M. and other bands to hold a series of concerts aimed at unseating U.S. President George W. Bush.

“To me, that’s treason. I call it treason against rock ‘n’ roll because rock is the antithesis of politics. Rock should never be in bed with politics,” says the 56-year-old Cooper ….

So would a President Huggy (perish the thought) appoint the singer of such timeless hits as “School’s Out,” “Only Women Bleed,” and “Billion Dollar Babies” to a high government position?

If so, we should sing another Cooper hit: “Welcome to My Nightmare.”

Random Thought of the Day

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Tuesday night entertainment

My regular readers — both of you — may recall that I sang Carmina Burana with the Master Chorale of South Florida earlier this month.

This video reminds us of the importance of clear diction when singing … especially when singing Carmina. Enjoy.

(thanks to MG and SW)

What’s a fundamentalist whackjob to do?

It must be tough to be a batshit crazy fundie in Florida as the state legislature session limps to a close this week. Three fundie-supported bills are either dead or dying. Couldn’t happen to a better bunch of lunatics, if you ask me.

First, the vomitous abortion restriction bill, which would require women seeking to terminate their pregnancy either to view an ultrasound image of the fetus or to affirmatively decline the viewing, is stalled and might not even come to a vote in the Senate, despite the assurances of Senate majority leader Daniel Webster (R-Orlando).

Several Senate leaders said they would prefer not to take up such a divisive issue in the last week of session, and in an election year.

About a half-dozen moderate Republicans and most Democrats oppose the bill; a few conservative Democrats and most Republicans support it. Two key players have been Sen. Mandy Dawson, D-Fort Lauderdale, who is frequently absent, and incoming Senate President Jeff Atwater, R-Palm Beach Gardens, who faces a tough re-election this fall from a former Democratic senator.

Opponents thought late Monday they had the majority, but the bill’s sponsor, Sen. Dan Webster, R-Orlando — who describes himself as pro-life — brought the matter up for initial questions and debate Tuesday morning. A vote could come as soon as Wednesday.

Meanwhile, the equally vomitous evolution education bill, the pet bill of Sen. Ronda Storms (R-Valrico), the Most Insane State Legislator of All Time (MISLAT), passed the House but is going to run out of time in the Senate. Even Gov. Crist seems to be taking special note of this one:

With the bill on life support, Republican Gov. Charlie Crist appeared unlikely to bridge the divide between the chambers. Crist surprised reporters during a two-hour debate Monday with a rare visit to the House press gallery. He was asked if he believed in evolution.

“I believe in a lot of things,” Crist said. “We should have the freedom to have a good exchange of ideas.”

But is legislation needed to guarantee that exchange? “I’m not so sure,” Crist said.

Say what you will about Charlie, but you just know that this bullshit bill would be a slam dunk if Jeb! were in charge …

Oh, and remember Ronda’s looney counterpart in the House, Rep. Alan Hays (R-Umatilla)? Get a load of this crap:

House Republicans, however, agreed with Rep. Alan Hays, R-Umatilla, who insisted the theory of evolution “has holes in it.”

“No one has any record – no fossils have been found, no eyewitnesses have seen any species in transition from one to another,” said Hays, the House sponsor.

Wow. That’s some powerful stupid right there. Florida’s not going to be second to any other state for deniers of scientific fact, that’s for damn sure.

Finally, the “I BELIEVE” license plate deservedly crashed and burned yesterday, despite Sen. Storms’ unbelievably moronic objection to its omission from the new plate legislation.

Opponents of the plate said approval – whose proposed design included a Christian cross, a stained-glass window and the words “I Believe” – would have almost certainly faced a court challenge.

The bill’s Senate sponsor said Monday, however, that the chamber’s rejection of the plate could also generate a lawsuit. Florida already has over 100 different license plates and by allowing the designs the state has created a “public forum,” said Sen. Ronda Storms, R-Valrico.

Public forum? Oh, give me a fucking break.

Sen. Storms, a 1995 graduate of Stetson University College of Law (where I worked long ago), obviously didn’t learn much about constitutional law there. While courts still are debating the issue, the idea that Florida has opened license plates up to be a public forum, limited or otherwise, is just ludicrous. There’s no viewpoint discrimination going on here, Ronda. Please take your Bible and your insanity and let the grown-ups make the decisions, okay?

And while you’re at it, take Hays and the rest of the batshit crazy fundies with you. It might get there kicking and screaming the whole way, but there’s finally a scintilla of hope that Florida might be dragged into the 21st Century eventually after all.

Today’s Daily Schadenfreude: torture-lover Douglas Feith

I actually had another winner in mind for today’s Daily Schadenfreude, but I’ll post about that conventionally later. I like to be responsive to my readers, so when Ben of The Spencerian e-mailed me this morning to nominate Doug Feith for the DS today, well, it’s my pleasure to comply with the request. After all, I’m a former radio DJ … I love requests.

You remember Feith, don’t you? He’s the moron who strongly advocated illegal war (as chronicled beautifully and thoroughly in a book edited by my friend, the lovely and talented Athenae of First Draft) and who lately has strongly advocated torture. The champion of “peace through strength” who justified the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq as “anticipatory self-defense,” Feist was on a two-year contract teaching at Georgetown University’s School of Foreign Service. Yesterday, the school announced that his contract would not be renewed.

“Technically I was appointed for two years and there was no extension of the appointment,” Feith said in an interview. “My understanding is that there were some members of the faculty that didn’t want me on the faculty.”

Before coming to Georgetown in 2006, Feith served as under secretary of defense for policy from July 2001 to August 2005 under President Bush, playing a pivotal role in planning the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003.

SFS Dean Robert Gallucci said that there was already an agreement in place between Feith and the university that his contract would be limited to two years and was not expected to be renewed.

“I announced it was a two-year contract, and it was widely understood,” he said. “I decided to stay with my statement that the contract was only two years and that was the prudent thing to do.”

But Feith said he got the sense that the reason his contract was not extended was because of political views and past work that generated controversy among many faculty members. “I think it is the only reason,” Feith said.

Hang on, Doug, I’m calling you a WAAAAAAAAHmbulance. Look, I don’t know whether the reason for your non-renewal is political, but even if it is, you aren’t the first person to lose a job for political reasons. Believe me.

I think it’s terrific that a complete fucktard like Feith finally gets a taste of comeuppance. He’s been a boil on the ass of American foreign policy for far too long. Yeah, I know he’ll get his Wingnut Welfare gig, but at least academia doesn’t have to be stained by his stupidity any longer.

So, congratulations to Doug Feith, who appropriately is known as “the fucking stupidest person on the face of the earth.” Today’s Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

Blast Off! Radio today at 2 pm EDT: featuring Hannah Montana!

Well, no, not really. But there’ll be plenty more to discuss, including the ever-increasing heap of bullshit that is GOP presidential candidate Huggy Bear, Florida’s fiscal fuck-ups, and more.

As always, here are the details:

TIME: 2:00 pm Eastern TODAY

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Caption contest

Have fun with this one. Put your captions in the Comments.