Building a perfect excuse

“No one could have predicted that the so-called ‘economic stimulus package’ championed by Drunky McStagger would have been a flop.”

Well, that seems to be what the Bush crime syndicate anticipates, given the statement Drunky made yesterday about how he purportedly expects people to use their measly token “rebates.”

“The money is going to help Americans offset the high prices we’re seeing at the gas pump, the grocery store, and also give our economy a boost to help us pull out of this economic slowdown,” Bush said.

Bush’s emphasis on fuel and food prices differed from other comments he’s made since signing the economic stimulus legislation, intended to aid the economy by boosting overall consumer spending — which accounts for roughly two-thirds of the nation’s economic activity.

Bush has suggested the rebates could trigger a spending spree. “When the money reaches the American people, we expect they will use it to boost consumer spending,” he said last month.

By saying expressly that people could use these one-time checks to pay for such necessities as food and gas, Bush underscored the deepening challenges facing the economy.

Democrats were quick to pick up on the change of focus.

“It’s galling to think that taxpayers’ stimulus checks will be lining the pockets of OPEC. The sad truth is that the average American family will spend almost their entire stimulus check on higher gas prices this year,” said Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., chairman of the Joint Economic Committee of Congress.

So we’re going to use the money to enrich the oil barons? Great. I should have known.

But what’s worse is that Drunky is going to have a ready-made excuse for why the “stimulus” won’t work — and I will bet you, oh, about $300 that the economy will still be in the toilet three months from now. The excuse? People will be using the money to pay bills or for savings rather than consumer spending.

If the 130 million Americans who receive the checks use them for spending sprees, the stimulus plan would give at least a temporary boost to the economy. But after two years of soaring gas prices, falling home values and rising jobless rates, many consumers in Palm Beach County and the Treasure Coast say they’re not in the mood to shop.

“I’m just going to put it in the bank,” said Kist, a public health nurse at the Palm Beach County Health Department.

She doubts the checks will do much to stimulate the economy.

“It’s not that large an amount of money,” she said.

Lunching at the fountain outside the West Palm Beach Public Library, Valerie Rhaburn, 39, said Friday she will put her payment in the bank, though she’ll also spend some of it as Bush hopes – to pay for a baby shower she’s giving.

John Batista, 71, who bags groceries at a Publix in Stuart, said he will use his check to pay off credit cards.

The theory behind the economic stimulus is simple: Millions of Americans will get their checks, then go on a mass shopping spree. Consumer spending accounts for 70 percent of the country’s economic growth.

“What they’d ideally like everybody to do is to go out to Wal-Mart or Home Depot or Macy’s and buy something,” said Chris McCarty, director of the University of Florida’s consumer confidence survey. “The problem is many people are likely to spend it on servicing existing debt, and that’s money that’s already been spent.”

Bingo. See, Americans already have spent the money. The debt is one reason, if not the biggest reason, we’re in the mess we are. The rebate is, quite simply, another Republican attempt to pander to the voters in an election year, so they can say, “See how great Republicans are? We gave you $600. Now vote for us.”

The economy is too far gone for the pandering to work. It’s certainly too far gone for $600 per person to help a hell of a lot … especially when the bulk of that is going to credit card companies and oil companies. And the Bush crime syndicate knows it won’t work — I’m sure of that. But just watch for the excuses in a few months’ time … you know they’ll be coming.