Juxtaposition

Two stories on the front page of the Palm Beach Post today about members of Congress and some recent, um, irregularities in their conduct. One is about a Democrat and the other is about a Republican. See if you can tell the difference between the two.

First, the Democrat:

Acknowledging that accusations that he doesn’t really live in Florida are raising “concerns” among his constituents, Democratic U.S. Rep. Robert Wexler said Tuesday that he will begin leasing an apartment in his congressional district rather than continue to claim residency at his in-laws’ home near Delray Beach.

Wexler made the announcement on the same day that his two challengers produced records showing Wexler received property tax breaks by declaring his house in Potomac, Md., a “primary residence” from 1999 to 2002. He also signed a loan document with his wife in 2005 describing the house as “my/our principal residence.”

Democratic U.S. Rep. Robert Wexler says he will lease an apartment in his congressional district rather than declaring residency at the home of his in-laws.

Wexler’s chief of staff, Eric Johnson, said Wexler mistakenly signed paperwork declaring the Maryland house his primary residence when he bought it in 1997 and corrected the error in 2003 when it was brought to his attention.

Johnson said the signature on the loan document was not the same as a legal declaration of residency but was an affirmation that Wexler would be living in the house “for a good majority of the time” rather than renting it out.

Even if Wexler called the Maryland home his primary residence, Johnson contended, he still would be a Florida resident. Johnson cited an 1879 Florida Supreme Court ruling that said a Gainesville man did not lose his Florida residency when “attending to the duties of a public office” in Washington.

And now the Republican (link is to original source, which the Post picked up):

Alaska’s Ted Stevens, the longest-serving Republican senator in U.S. history, was indicted yesterday on seven charges of making false statements about more than $250,000 that corporate executives doled out to overhaul his Anchorage area house.

A federal grand jury in the District accused Stevens of concealing on financial disclosure statements lucrative gifts from the now-defunct oil company Veco and its top executives, including a Viking gas grill, a tool cabinet and a wraparound deck. At one point, Veco employees and contractors jacked up the senator’s mountainside house on stilts and added a new first floor, with two bedrooms and a bathroom, the indictment says.

The senator, who once oversaw more than $900 billion in federal spending each year as chairman of the Appropriations Committee, said he has “temporarily relinquished” his senior posts on several committees, in accordance with Senate rules, while he focuses on the legal battle ahead.

Stevens, 84, the first sitting U.S. senator to face criminal charges in 15 years, adamantly denied the allegations in a statement yesterday afternoon.

Two points:

1. Will the people, especially local bloggers, bleating about how horrible Wexler’s situation is, kindly shut the fuck up?

2. Once again, Republicans outdo Democrats on the scale of criminality. Quite an honor to uphold, there, GOP.

Heckuva job, Teddy.

(There also was a front-page teaser about a story on a 15-year-old local golfer making great strides. I went to high school with the golfer’s father, who was two years behind me. I feel old.)

Wingnut welfare for Marco Rubio

Well, it seems our old friend Florida House Speaker Marco Rubio found himself a nice, cushy gig after he’s term-limited out of the legislature: working in one of the very state universities his asinine property tax cuts have decimated.

Rubio, of Miami, was offered a part-time job at Florida International University. He will co-teach a class on politics at FIU’s Metropolitan Center. His term as speaker in the Florida Legislature ends Nov. 4.

Rubio will also line up guest speakers and develop plans for local governments to build affordable housing.

Rubio’s salary will be $69,000, paid for by private donations. The announcement of Rubio’s new position comes one month after the school raised tuition by 15 percent, cut 23 degree programs and 200 jobs.

Yeah, they’d better use donations to pay his salary. It sounds like it’s a position they created for him … which really shouldn’t surprise me. But $69,000 for a part-time gig co-teaching, getting speakers, and working with local governments?

Oh, that’s right. He’s a Republican, so it’s okay. Never mind.

(h/t nash, via e-mail)

UPDATE (3:24 pm 7/25/08): I meant to mention that this situation sounds very much like the gig Sen. Mike Haridopolos (R-Indialantic) got to “teach” at UF. That one hits close to home, because Haridopolos previously landed a $150,000 “advance” from a Florida community college (where I once worked) to write a book that, to be kind, was not that great and which has never been published. Once again, though, IOKIYAR.

Deep Thoughts, by Lamar Alexander

Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) digs deep for this nugget:

[Alexander] said on Friday at an energy roundtable in Jackson that the key to solving the current energy shortage and high gas prices problem can be summed up in four words: “find more, use less.”

I am powerless to resist. I must comment thusly:

No shit, Sherlock.

GOP: unable to distinguish between their asses and a hole in the ground

Do you need more that Republicans are the most deceptive and craven people on Earth?

In a move at least politically reminiscent of Drunky McStagger‘s response to 9/11, when he sent our troops to Iraq after we were attacked by a bunch of Saudi nationals led by a guy hiding in Afghanistan, the Florida Republican Party is reacting to an electoral challenge to one of their stars by pouring money into … a completely different race altogether.

Republican officials are targeting Democratic state Sen. Dave Aronberg in retaliation for Democrats’ once-high-profile race against incoming Senate President Jeff Atwater.

“I’ve made it very clear that there was a decision to go after the leadership of our party, and our response on the Republican side was to aggressively go after some of the Democrats in their seats,” said Jim Greer, chairman of the Republican Party of Florida.

He wouldn’t say what races the party was targeting, and specifically declined to comment on the Aronberg race.

But, months before the November election, GOP officials have paid for four negative mailers and television ads attacking Aronberg’s voting record.

The revenge campaign is the result of Democrat Skip Campbell, a former state senator from Broward County, challenging Atwater in his Senate District 25 reelection race. Campbell has since dropped out and been replaced by virtual unknown Linda Bird, a Democratic activist from Fort Lauderdale.

The ads say Aronberg voted against property tax relief and nursing homes for veterans, among other things.

One of the ads features a picture of Aronberg’s opponent, Matt Caldwell, as a youngster holding a dead squirrel in one hand and a gun in the other. It says Caldwell, 26, will fight against “liberals trying to take away our freedoms” and “our God-given right to bear arms.”

Oh, yeah, I remember that passage in the Bible when Jesus turned the water into guns.

By the way, this may be the first time that a dead squirrel ever has appeared in a campaign ad. I think it’s a metaphor for Caldwell’s chances against Aronberg … plus it has the added benefit of pissing off both the gun control types and the animal rights activists. Way to cram your heads up your asses yet again, Republicans.

So, with Skip Campbell dropping out, there’s not even a serious challenger to Atwater anymore. Yet the Republicans’ political bloodlust, like their lust for war and killing, cannot be quenched.

Put more succinctly:

• If the Republicans had been in charge on December 7, 1941, we would have gone to war against Australia.
• If today’s Republicans had been around in April of 1865 after Lincoln’s assassination, they would have chased down Gen. George B. McClellan.
• If a Republican had written Hamlet, Laertes would have killed Rosencrantz and/or Guildenstern.

You see, for Republicans, it’s not about doing the right thing for the state or the country. It’s all about getting even. And that’s basically why we’re in the mess we’re in today.

Like a complete unknown

Electoral shenanigans continue in Palm Beach County … and the question arises, is the GOP responsible again?

Five people suddenly and mysteriously filed for Green Party candidacy right at the deadline in several area legislative races — and no one seems to know who they are.

All changed their affiliations, and some their addresses, before or shortly after qualifying in June.

“I’m shocked and I’m suspicious,” said Echo Steiner of Lake Worth, the state co-chair of the Green Party.

Party officials have sent certified letters, e-mails and even tried knocking on doors so they can vet the candidates and officially endorse them. The candidates have until July 21 to fill out a questionnaire.

Democrats, who often lose votes to third-party candidates in competitive races, are accusing Republicans of being responsible.

“If it’s true, this will be the first time in history that a state party has had a coordinated effort to put sham candidates on a ballot to manipulate an election,” said [state Sen. Dave] Aronberg, D-Greenacres.

Republicans say they have no idea what the candidates are up to.

“These folks obviously are playing games here, but they certainly are not coming from us,” said Republican Party of Florida spokeswoman Erin Van Sickle. “I’ve never heard of any of them.”

Meanwhile, Florida Greens are scratching their heads.

“We’re being used,” said Julia Aires, Green Party of Florida spokeswoman. “Simple as that. This is the first time this has happened to us in Florida.”

Green Party candidates have traditionally used petition signatures to qualify for elections, costing them little or nothing, Aires said.

Not so this time.

The five unknowns each paid the $1,915.92 fee to qualify for three House races and two Senate races.

Of the five (all of whom are in their 20s with only one older than 23), two recently changed their voter registration from Unaffiliated to Green, one each from Republican and Democrat to Green, and one from an even more minor party. There’s no pattern in the races they’ve entered, either — there are Republican incumbents, Democratic incumbents (including Aronberg), and open seats involved.

So, while it’s easy to point fingers at the Republicans because third party candidates, especially from the Green Party, usually draw votes from Democratic candidates, it’s just too early to say for sure that it’s a GOP dirty trick. Even the Green Party doesn’t seem to know what’s going on. Then again, I wouldn’t put it past Republicans to … bend the rules a bit.

You had to know it would be in Florida

I saw the picture before I saw the location, and I just knew …

A billboard on display in Orange County, Florida shows the World Trade Center towers burning while telling passers-by: “Please Don’t Vote for a Democrat.” The local ABC News affiliate reports that the person responsible is a local musician “trying to help Republicans” but that “officials with both political parties are calling the billboard inappropriate.”

Who’s the “local musician?”

The man behind the billboard is Mike Meehan, a St. Cloud businessman and musician. His website advertises a CD and music video titled “The Republican Song,” with the chorus, “Don’t vote for a Democrat.” He’s selling CDs for $5.

“This is a blatant exploitation of that terrible tragedy for political and, perhaps even worse, personal gain,” said Bill Robinson, Orange County Democratic Party Chair.

Orange County Democrats are calling for the billboard to come down and the local Republican Party has said the ad is “inappropriate.” Meehan hadn’t returned Channel 9 calls or e-mails Monday afternoon, but some are defending his right to free speech.

“They can have their opinion. It’s a free country, if they want to pay for the ad. I’m sure it’s expensive,” resident Louis Champeau told Eyewitness News.

Well, fuck you, Meehan. You’re an idiot and a fearmonger — perfect for the GOP. Enjoy hell, you opportunistic attention whore.

UPDATE (2:16 pm 7/15/08): I’ve just been told that in addition to being an idiot and a fearmonger, Meehan evidently also is a Canadian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that especially, but do you Republicans really want to take electoral advice from a foreigner?!

(h/t Eschaton commenter mrs. ibrahim al-jafaari)

Huggy Bear to Cuban-American group: I won’t meet with you

Spiteful little prick Huggy Bear, in the aftermath of his “joke” about killing Iranians with cigarettes, is finding new and better ways to win friends and influence people. This time, it’s the Cuban-American community in Miami.

An advisor to Republican John McCain said that the candidate would not meet with a politically moderate Cuban-American organization because it “embraced” Democrat Barack Obama and his call for overhauling the Bush administration’s Cuba policy.

The Cuban American National Foundation [(CANF)] tried to set up a meeting with McCain last month in New Orleans on the same day he was attending a private fundraiser organized by one of the group’s directors. The foundation is officially nonpartisan, but many individual members are politically active.

Lobbyist Ana Navarro, a McCain advisor who frequently travels with the campaign, did an interview with WAQI-710 Radio Mambí from New Orleans on June 4, the day after the fundraiser.

“I understand [the foundation] had intended to come to a fundraiser in New Orleans, that they offered a large sum of money in exchange for a private meeting with McCain. They were told no,” she said. “I don’t like talking about the foundation, because I consider them fairly irrelevant.”

She added: “It is obvious they have chosen, they have embraced, they have given a welcome and a forum to Barack Obama — a man who wants to sit down with Raúl Castro without preconditions. . . . So I don’t understand the insistence of the gentlemen in the Cuban American National Foundation in wanting to get together with John McCain when John McCain doesn’t want to get together with them.”

The McCain campaign did not respond to repeated requests Tuesday for comment.

McCain and Democrats Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were all invited to the foundation’s Cuban Independence Day luncheon in Miami in May. Only Obama appeared, and gave a speech to the group.

This is classic GOP strategery. If you don’t agree with the warmongering right-wing rhetoric, you’re “irrelevant.” If they’re our enemies, we won’t sit down with them and use diplomacy — or, in this case, political dexterity — to negotiate with them. It’s asinine, it’s childish, and it’s the Republican Way.

And, unsurprisingly, Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Dumber, two of the Three Hyphenated Stooges who represent Miami in Congress, are in the thick of the controversy.

CANF president Pepe Hernandez, who planned to go to New Orleans with chairman Jorge Mas Santos, blamed U.S. Reps. Lincoln and Mario Diaz-Balart of Miami for the meeting’s collapse.

The two brothers are leading supporters of McCain in Florida and are vehement supporters of the current restrictions on travel and remittances, and Hernandez and Mas Santos are supporting their Democratic challengers. “They are letting their own personal interests undermine the interests of the McCain campaign and the Cuban-American community,” Hernandez said.

A spokesman for the Diaz-Balarts denied that they were involved in blocking the meeting, but added that “it makes no sense to give “special treatment to a group that does not represent the Cuban-American community.” [sic]

I’m more convinced than ever that the primary qualification to be a Republican politician these days is to be a massive asshole.

Today’s Daily Schadenfreude: John McCain

Of course, the mainstream corporate media will continue to tell you that it’s the Democrats who are in shambles/disarray/trouble, but looky here at the Republicans! Seems that ol’ Huggy Bear might face a bit of mutiny at the Republican National Convention this September:

McCain has not yet signaled the changes he plans to make in the GOP platform, but many conservatives say they fear wholesale revisions could emerge as candidate McCain seeks to put his stamp on a document that currently reflects the policies and principles of President Bush.

“There is just no way that you can avoid anticipating what is going to come. Everyone is aware that McCain is different on these issues,” said Jessica Echard, executive director of the conservative Eagle Forum. “We’re all kind of waiting with anticipation because we just don’t know how he’s going to thread this needle.”

McCain has spent the past year and a half trying to straddle the philosophical schism in the modern Republican Party. In primaries, he stressed his conservative credentials, but since clinching the nomination he has often reminded voters of his more moderate stances while professing his fealty to conservative positions.

A platform fight at the convention could disrupt that carefully choreographed effort by highlighting the stark differences in vision for the party separating McCain from some of the GOP’s most dedicated activists.

The battle may not be avoidable. The current GOP platform is a 100-page document, and all but nine pages mention Bush’s name. Virtually the entire platform will have to be rewritten to lessen the imprint of the president, who has the highest disapproval rating of any White House occupant since Richard M. Nixon.

It’s hilarious how both Huggy Bear and the Party itself are racing each other to shed the destructive, pathetic legacy of Drunky McStagger, yet both of them also embrace his failed policies almost in their entirety. And yet Huggy, not being “conservative” enough for the right-wing extremists who still hold sway in the GOP (evidently he’s still plenty warmongering and torturing enough, though), is going to confront a lot of distaste in St. Paul, and not just from the protesters outside the Excel Center.

The crazed wingnuts are especially up in arms about Huggy’s positions on global climate change, immigration, and stem cell research. As usual, they’d rather kill brown people and protect embryos until birth (but only until then — after that you’re on your own) than support their party’s candidate. Who’s in disarray again?

Geez, Huggy, can’t a failed fighter pilot and Communist appeaser get any electoral love from his own party these days? Well, you can comfort yourself with your wife’s big hair (Jeebus, I thought that was Dolly Parton there for a minute), her bigger bank account, and the knowledge that today’s Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

Simply disgusting: Black Republican group claims MLK was one of them

Are there no depths to which Republicans will not stoop? A group called the National Black Republican Association (motto: “Proudly defining ‘self-loathing’ since 2005”) is putting up billboards around Florida declaring that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., was a Republican.

“These guys never give up, do they?” said Lowery, who co-founded the Southern Christian Leadership Conference with King. “Lord have mercy.”

Seven billboards have gone up in six Florida counties, and another in Orangeburg, S.C., said Frances Rice, the group’s chairwoman. Part of the group’s mission is to highlight what she said is the Democratic Party’s racist past.

“I knew the King family well. We were all Republicans,” said Rice, 64. “There was no way Dr. King would have wanted to be in the party of the Ku Klux Klan.”

Her assertion angered state Rep. Joe Gibbons, a Democrat who chairs the Florida Legislative Black Caucus.

“Nobody knew who was leading the Ku Klux Klan, they had sheets over their heads. Was she at the cross burning meetings?” Gibbons said with a disgust that was just as strong when he talked about the billboards. “To make a statement like that is ridiculous. To make a claim without presenting proof is bogus.”

The King Center in Atlanta says there is no proof that King was ever a Republican. Rice stands by her claim. She said she was asked by The King Center to take down the billboards, but she refused.

“I said, ‘If you want us to stop, sue us.’ But they don’t want to come into court because they know they’ll have to tell the truth,” Rice said.

Hmmm … a group of apparently psychotic black Republicans led by a black woman named Rice? Nah, couldn’t be …. could it?

Anyway, the King family is similarly offended by the hypocritical and demonstrably false message of this self-hate group:

In “The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr.,” which was published after his death from his written material and records, King called the Republican national convention that nominated Goldwater a “frenzied wedding … of the KKK and the radical right.”

“The Republican Party geared its appeal and program to racism, reaction, and extremism,” King said in the book.

In a statement released through the King Center, Martin Luther King III said, “It is disingenuous to imply that my father was a Republican. He never endorsed any presidential candidate, and there is certainly no evidence that he ever even voted for a Republican. It is even more outrageous to suggest that he would support the Republican Party of today, which has spent so much time and effort trying to suppress African American votes in Florida and many other states.”

And here I thought flying the world’s largest Confederate flag could be the worst Florida could offer. It makes me sick to my stomach that anyone could be so crass, so craven, so cretinous as to suggest that Dr. King could support the lying bunch of criminals and warmongers who currently represent the Republican Party.

Clinton-motivated vandalism or GOP dirty trick?

Hoo boy. Either way, this sucks. A bevy of city-owned cars in Orlando were vandalized with anti-Obama and anti-Huggy Bear messages, and the perps claim to be Hillary Clinton supporters.

Police said they responded to the public parking lot at 401 S. Orange Ave. at 4:30 p.m. and found 24 spray-painted vehicles, including 23 that were owned by the city. Three of the cars had some type of politically motivated message painted on them, said Orlando Police Department Sgt. Barb Jones. Initial media reports of 60 vehicles were incorrect, Jones said.

According to pictures from the scene, the vandals tagged notes such as “Obama smokes crack.” They left business card-sized notes that disparaged Sen. John McCain and Sen. Barack Obama on one side, while supporting Sen. Hillary Clinton on the other.

If it really was Hillary supporters who did this, it’s not only disgraceful, it’s just plain sad. If it’s Republicans, they’re just idiots who thought they could create controversy where there isn’t — or shouldn’t be — any.

Of course, it might be a third option: kids out to be mischievous. They wrote other slogans like “Legalize Marijuana/Stop Building Prisons,” “Ladies I’m Single Some Girl Step Up” and “How About Them Gators.” That sure looks like kids to me.

Then again, the poor grammar does evoke a certain right-of-center attitude …