Bonus schadenfreude: Sen. Asshole (R-Alaska) is indicted

Pity I already used up my Daily Schadenfreude award for today. Because this one beats almost any schadenfreude I’ve ever featured on this sucky blog.

The Biggest Asshole in Congress™, Sen. Ted Stevens (right), was indicted today on seven counts of fraud, federal charges related to renovations of his Alaska home. This comes two days shy of one year after federal agents raided his home as the investigation into Stevens’ alleged wrongdoing got underway.

The Justice Department announced the charges at a news conference Tuesday afternoon. The document says that, from the spring of 1999 through the late summer of 2007, Mr. Stevens failed to report “things of value” that he received in connection with his home in the ski resort city of Girdwood, about 40 miles south of Anchorage.

Prosecutors say Mr. Stevens, who referred to his home as “the chalet,” accepted goods and services worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, ranging from an outdoor grill to extensive home remodeling and architectural advice. Not only did Mr. Stevens fail to report the items on his Senate financial disclosure form, as required, but he took active steps to conceal the receipt of the goods and services, the indictment says.

All the charges are felonies. Justice Department officials declined to discuss how long a prison term a conviction on the charges might bring, noting that the maximum sentences allowed by law are rarely imposed. Mr. Stevens was in Washington on Tuesday, and was allowed to turn himself in for paperwork processing.

Geez, another Republican engaging in criminal activity? No one could have predicted that …

But seeing Sen. Stevens ruined is sweet schadenfreude indeed. I don’t say this just because I love to laugh at the misfortunes of Republicans generally — no, you see, I am elated because Sen. Stevens is truly a despicable human being, someone whom I’ve personally met and found to be totally abhorrent and unpleasant in every way.

So, see? — sometimes bad things really do happen to bad people … and this one is well-deserved, indeed.

How Republicans choose their candidates

We’ve been encouraged to support Mitt Romney because he has “shoulders you could land a 737 on,” and of course Fred Thompson is Tweety’s latest man-crush because he smells like Aqua Velva.

Now, the egregiously idiotic Les Kinsolving is touting Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R, right) as a potential running-mate on the GOP ticket because she has a photograph “that would stop traffic” and “a smile that could melt all the tundra of the Arctic Circle.”

Even though Alaska has very few electoral votes, Sarah Palin would be an absolutely devastating addition to the GOP ticket – particularly if the Democrats nominate Hillary.

[…]

[Fred] Barnes described her as “a politician of eye-popping integrity … now the most popular governor in America with an approval rating in the 90s, and probably the most popular public official in any state.”

(And, let me add, just wonderfully equipped to counter if the Democrats presidentially nominate another – if older – pretty lady.)

[…]

I suggest this gorgeous and thoroughly gutsy governor would be a great Veep nominee.

[…]

2008, in Minneapolis, could be vice-presidentially electrifying – if they choose Alaska’s gorgeous and gutsy governor.

Sadly, however, I am obliged to report – and it is on the record – that at the White House daily news briefing July 16th, Presidential Press Secretary Tony Snow gave Gov. Palin what I recall – in both tone of voice as well as brevity – was distinctly short shrift.

I asked Tony Snow:

Q: Washington’s ‘Weekly Standard’ reports from Juneau, Alaska, that the new Republican Governor, Sarah Palin, has an approval rating of 90 percent in the polls; that’s 9-0. What is the president’s reaction to this and her future?

MR. SNOW (very quickly) “He’s happy for her.”

That’s it. Nothing more.

Which seems to me to be very sad.

No, Les, what’s “very sad” is that you can’t keep from drooling on the keyboard. I mean, are Republicans just hyper-aware of physical appearance or, as I believe more likely, is it just that they want to nominate “eye candy” because they know they can’t win on the issues?

Besides, I see your hot Republican governor and raise you a hot Democratic governor. So there.

Seriously, Les. Take a cold shower. Or at least get some Kleenex. Sheesh.

P.S. Sorry I had to link to WorldNet Daily. Mea culpa.

Alaska congressman ♥s Florida money, part deux

A couple of months ago, I told you about Rep. Don Young (R-Alaska) and his nefarious scheme to direct a $10 million federal earmark to a Florida land developer who gave (or raised for) him $40,000 for his campaign.

This week, the plot has thickened considerably. Apparently Rep. Young changed the language of the bill that Congress passed before it went to the White House for the president’s signature. You see, Congress passed the earmark to widen I-75 in Lee and Collier counties (including Fort Myers and Naples, respectively). But the alteration directed the earmark straight to the Coconut Road project of Young’s supporter, Daniel J. Aronoff.

[Retired former congressional liaison to the Department of Labor Darla] Letourneau [who researched the anomalous change] said it’s not unusual for minor grammatical and technical changes to take place during the final stage of the legislative process, but in this case the changes were substantial.

The changes morphed the earmark’s purpose from being a general road-widening project to benefiting one specific interchange, Letourneau said. Additionally, the interchange had already been opposed by many local officials because they said it would open environmentally fragile lands to development, Letourneau said.

“It’s definitely not consistent with the rules, at least on its face,” Letourneau said. “It raises a lot of questions in my mind. It’s just another example of abuse of power.”

The New York Times connected Young’s appropriation to Daniel J. Aronoff of Bloomfield Hills, Mich., whose companies own thousands of acres that would increase in value if a Coconut Road connector were built.

The earmark was inserted into the 2005 legislation shortly after Aronoff helped raise $40,000 in Florida for Young’s re-election campaign, the [Anchorage] Daily News reported.

On Wednesday [August 8], guests at one of Young’s biggest Anchorage fundraisers – his annual pig roast – included several Washington lobbyists including Rick Alcalde, a frequent Young contributor. Alcalde’s clients include Aronoff’s real estate business, the Landon Companies, according to federal disclosure forms.

Young’s office would not comment to the newspaper on the earmark, calling it a “recycled story.”

The media’s going to ignore this, of course, but how much more egregious a violation of ethics and law do you need than a congressman changing a bill after it’s passed?!? Will Speaker Pelosi ignore this? Will there be any sanctions for this gross misconduct?

Hard to say. But at least Rep. Young continues to be a world-class prick:

However, in an interview this week with The Associated Press, Young said, “I think it’s the right thing for the state of Florida, and you know, right now, they’re supportive of it. It gives an escape route and it gives an overpass that’s necessary for the university there. And if you did a little research you would have found that out. Do a little homework; it helps out instead off [sic] just reading The New York Times.

Forget voting him out of Congress. Don Young needs to be charged, tried, and convicted. He’s a common criminal and should be treated as such.

Today’s Daily Schadenfreude: Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)

I’m smiling from ear to ear today. The Biggest Asshole in Washington™ (and that’s saying something) is in deep doo-doo:

Agents from the FBI and the Internal Revenue Service raided the Alaska home [left] of Sen. Ted Stevens (R) yesterday as part of a broad federal investigation of political corruption in the state that has also swept up his son and one of his closest financial backers, officials said.

Stevens, the longest-serving Republican senator in history, is under scrutiny from the Justice Department for his ties to an Alaska energy services company, Veco, whose chief executive pleaded guilty in early May to a bribery scheme involving state lawmakers.

[…]

This spring, Republicans and Democrats celebrated on the Senate floor when Stevens became the longest-serving Republican in the chamber’s history. He has said he plans to run in 2008 for another six-year term.

A few weeks after that celebration, one of Stevens’s closest political allies, Bill Allen, formerly the chief executive of Veco, pleaded guilty to bribing several members of the state legislature. One was an unidentified former state senator whose consulting payments cited in the plea agreement matched payments reported by Ben Stevens, a state lawmaker who is the senator’s son. He left the state Senate last year.

The Alaska investigation has centered on Allen’s efforts to bribe lawmakers by handing out wads of hundred-dollar bills in an effort to win favorable tax legislation in Alaska for a natural gas pipeline long sought by the energy industry and leaders of both political parties there.

I covered my personal feelings about Sen. Stevens when he last won the coveted Daily Schadenfreude award, so I’m just tickled blue about this latest development. What’s that they say about “power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts absolutely?” You think 39 years as a U.S. senator might appeal to the lesser virtues of a man with few virtues to begin with? So it would appear …

If Stevens is indicted (and convicted, presumably), I hope they have to take his besmirched name off of Anchorage International Airport. I’ve been to Anchorage once … but I’d gladly go back, even in the dead of winter, all the way from America’s Glans™, to witness the removal of the offending appellation from the facility once and for all.

So, Sen. Stevens, congratulations! Because now you’re finding out why karma is such a bitch, today’s Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

The Constitution takes another hit

The Roberts Court today managed to restrict the rights of Americans yet again today, as they announced their decision in Morse v. Frederick (PDF).

Joseph Frederick displayed a banner with the message “BONG HiTS 4 JESUS” as the Olympic torch went through Juneau, Alaska, in 2002. Because it was a “school-sanctioned event,” principal Deborah Morse suspended Frederick for his “pro-drug message,” despite Frederick’s protestations that the banner was meant simply as a nonsense phrase; he had seen it on a snowboard and thought it was funny.

As you might have expected, the Roberts Court handed down a 5-4 decision in favor of the principal in this important First Amendment case, despite the surprising opposition of “conservative groups that often are allied with the administration,” which “are backing Frederick out of concern that a ruling for Morse would let schools clamp down on religious expression, including speech that might oppose homosexuality or abortion.”

For those interested, here is the holding of the Court, as presented in the syllabus of the slip opinion (PDF):

Held: Because schools may take steps to safeguard those entrusted to their care from speech that can reasonably be regarded as encouraging illegal drug use, the school officials in this case did not violate the First Amendment by confiscating the pro-drug banner and suspending Frederick. Pp. 5–15.

(a) Frederick’s argument that this is not a school speech case is rejected. The event in question occurred during normal school hours and was sanctioned by Morse as an approved social event at which the district’s student-conduct rules expressly applied. Teachers and administrators were among the students and were charged with supervising them. Frederick stood among other students across the street from the school and directed his banner toward the school, making it plainly visible to most students. Under these circumstances, Frederick cannot claim he was not at school. Pp. 5–6.

(b) The Court agrees with Morse that those who viewed the banner would interpret it as advocating or promoting illegal drug use, in violation of school policy. At least two interpretations of the banner’s words—that they constitute an imperative encouraging viewers to smoke marijuana or, alternatively, that they celebrate drug use—demonstrate that the sign promoted such use. This pro-drug interpretation gains further plausibility from the paucity of alternative meanings the banner might bear. Pp. 6–8.

(c) A principal may, consistent with the First Amendment, restrict student speech at a school event, when that speech is reasonably viewed as promoting illegal drug use. In Tinker v. Des Moines Independent Community School Dist., 393 U. S. 503, the Court declared, in holding that a policy prohibiting high school students from wearing antiwar armbands violated the First Amendment, id., at 504, that student expression may not be suppressed unless school officials reasonably conclude that it will “materially and substantially disruptthe work and discipline of the school,” id., at 513. The Court in Bethel School Dist. No. 403 v. Fraser, 478 U. S. 675, however, upheld the suspension of a student who delivered a high school assembly speech employing “an elaborate, graphic, and explicit sexual metaphor,” id., at 678. Analyzing the case under Tinker, the lower courts had found no disruption, and therefore no basis for discipline. 478 U.S., at 679–680. This Court reversed, holding that the school was “within its permissible authority in imposing sanctions . . . in response to [the student’s] offensively lewd and indecent speech.” Id., at 685. Two basic principles may be distilled from Fraser. First, it demonstrates that “the constitutional rights of students in public school are not automatically coextensive with the rights of adults in other settings.” Id., at 682. Had Fraser delivered the same speech in a public forum outside the school context, he would have been protected. See, id., at 682–683. In school, however, his First Amendment rights were circumscribed “in light of the special characteristics of the school environment.” Tinker, supra, at 506. Second, Fraser established that Tinker’s mode of analysis is not absolute, since the Fraser Court did not conduct the “substantial disruption” analysis. Subsequently, the Court has held in the Fourth Amendment context that “while children assuredly do not ‘shed their constitutional rights. . . at the schoolhouse gate,’ … the nature of those rights is what is appropriate for children in school,” Vernonia School Dist. 47J v. Acton, 515 U. S. 646, 655–656, and has recognized that deterring drug use by schoolchildren is an “important—indeed, perhaps compelling” interest, id., at 661. Drug abuse by the Nation’s youth is a serious problem. For example, Congress has declared that part of a school’s job is educating students about the dangers of drug abuse, see, e.g., the Safe and Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act of 1994, and petitioners and many other schools have adopted policies aimed at implementing this message. Student speech celebrating illegal drug use at a school event, in the presence of school administrators and teachers, poses a particular challenge for school officials working to protect those entrusted to their care. The “special characteristics of the school environment,” Tinker, 393 U. S., at 506, and the governmental interest in stopping student drug abuse allow schools to restrict student expression that they reasonably regard as promoting such abuse. Id., at 508, 509, distinguished. Pp. 8–15.

439 F. 3d 1114, reversed and remanded.

So fundie groups are worried that a decision for Morse (which is what we’ve got) “would let schools clamp down on religious expression, including speech that might oppose homosexuality or abortion?” Sounds like it’s time to make lemonade from lemons, eh?

UPDATE (12:48 pm 6/25/07): It gets worse. The Court, in another 5-4 decision today, also announced its opinion in Hein v. Freedom From Religion Foundation, Inc. (PDF), where a group of individuals challenged the Bush crime syndicate’s concept of government funding of “faith-based initiatives.” Justice Alito, writing for a plurality, stated essentially that a taxpayer’s standing (i.e., legal permission to sue, in this case, the federal government) is limited to congressional expenditures pursuant to Art. I, sec. 8 of the Constitution.

Unbelievable, and sad.

Today’s Daily Schadenfreude: Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)

I know, it’s weird to have a Florida-based blog writing about an Alaska senator (although the Republicans are doing their damnedest to make a connection … a love connection). But, having dealt with Sen. Stevens personally on several occasions back in the ’80s, I am taking great pleasure in watching him squirm now.

According to Josh Marshall over at TPM, Sen. Stevens may well be the crookedest senator of them all. And we’re only scratching the scandalous surface so far.

Still, when a guy like Sen. Stevens gets into a scandal on the order of the one he seems to be involved in we really need to jump right on it because there just can’t be that many senators as crooked as he seems to be.

As we noted yesterday, not only is the already-reported grand jury in Alaska now looking into Stevens’ shenanigans. There’s also another grand jury impanelled in DC also looking into Stevens’ dealings with Veco Corp. and specifically how the crooked oil services company (two of its execs, including its CEO, recently pleaded guilty to bribing public officials) managed to end up renovating Stevens’ home.

The second grand jury in DC, which has no connection to the Veco investigation save for Sen. Stevens, is the pretty sure sign that Stevens is in the colloquial if not the technical sense a target of the investigation.

In any case, common sense tells me that you don’t come up with an MO like that that led to the shady house renovation deal thirty-plus years into your senate career. And we’re already hearing tales of lots of other at least borderline scams by Alaska’s senior senator. Indeed, since we started reporting in earnest on the Stevens’ story quite a few Alaska readers have come out of the wood with more helpful details about Sen. Stevens.

Oh, boy, is this great!

See, I have personal reasons for my schadenfreude this time. When I taught in D.C., I had to (among other things) organize meetings with members of Congress. I met many of them in my two years there, probably about 30 senators and 40 or 50 members of the House. And not a single one of them was as big an asshole, or as unpleasant to deal with, as the (current) senior senator from Alaska.

About a year and a half ago, I finally completed my quest to visit all fifty states. Alaska was the last one. And as I exited the airport in Anchorage, I looked back and saw to my disgust that I’d just landed at Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport. Blecch.

At least when they frogmarch Ted off to join Scooter, he can look back on his legacy in transportation: an airport and a bridge to nowhere. And the progenitor of the intertubes, too …

In the meantime, congratulations to Ted Stevens … as the scandals continue to be uncovered, today’s Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

Alaska congressman ♥s Florida money

Now, what do you suppose a congressman from Seward’s Folly is doing directing millions of dollars in federal earmarks to Florida? Rep. Don Young (R-Alaska) did just that. And you’ll never guess why:

There is nothing unusual about a congressman from Alaska secretly allocating $10 million for a Florida interchange or helping secure $81 million for a related project.

That’s what Rep. Don Young (R-AK) told the Anchorage Daily News in response to a New York Times story about his involvement in slipping Coconut Road in Fort Myers, Florida about $81 million. The extension of the road and the creation of an interchange is a boon for real estate developers in the area, several of whom are big Republican donors. One in particular, Daniel J. Aronoff, said he helped raise $40,000 for Young days before the $10 million earmark appeared because, as an Aronoff consultant explained: “We were looking for a lot of money.” Young was the chairman of the House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee at the time.

Okay, maybe you could guess why.

So, like all true Republics, Don Young, perhaps best known for his “Bridge to Nowhere 2: Electric Boogaloo” boondoggle, is a corrupt moneygrubber. However, he’s also an asshole:

When a Times reporter approached Young near the House floor about the Coconut Road story the congressman gave the journalist an obscene gesture, apparently declining to comment.

Yep, it’s the old “go fuck yourself” defense. That’s a winner every time.

When I taught in D.C. in the late 1980s, I found Sens. Ted Stevens and Frank Murkowski (both R-Alaska) to be the most odious, unpleasant, downright nasty members of Congress I ever encountered. It seems Alaska has made sending Republic assholes to Congress somewhat of a tradition.

Southwest Florida Republicans (who are legion over there) thank you, Rep. Young. They may not be able to vote for you, but by God, those dollars are just as good, right?